Jacob's Story

Jacob is number 4. His story is one of heartbreak, but hope too. The reason why I want to share this is not to get pity, but to spread awareness, as well as answer the questions before they come up.

So here the backstory:

In 2012 we decided to try for number 4. It would be our last child. We quickly conceived and found out at 7 weeks that it was twins. It was scary and exciting all at once. Unfortunately, at just 12 weeks pregnant, my water broke with Jacob, and we were advised to terminate the pregnancy.we were given a less than .01% chance of survival for either of the babies, and a risk of infection and death for me. This is called PPROM (preterm premature rupture of membranes). Basically its when your water breaks with no known cause before 37 weeks and is not due to contractions. My water broke while sitting on a couch during my church small group.
We chose to carry on and were shocked when we managed to carry the twins for another 13 weeks. At 25 weeks, Jacob and Juliet were born via emergency c-section after Jacob's cord had prolapsed. Jacob weighted 1lb 9oz and Juliet weighted 1lb 13oz. They both did well the first 24 hours, but soon Jacob took a turn for the worse and his body started to shut down. We were able to hold him as he took his last few breaths before passing away in my arms.

Jacob will always be my son, and he will always be counted in our children. Because of him, we now have Juliet to fill our arms and bring smiles to our faces. ( More on her story in another post.) While I may not get to "parent" him, I am still his mom, and he still takes up time and energy ever day. It is different than if I had another 2 year old running around, but still parenting non the less. He is still mentioned in our family and still remembered during all our activities.

In order to keep him memory alive, we have started to include a blue elephant in our activities. "Jake" goes pretty much everywhere with us, and he will be in all our photos. So when you see Jake, just know that is our way to remembering Jacob.

Some may feel I am not truly raising half a dozen, and to them I say I pray you never know the pain of watching your child take their last breath.

I love to talk about Jacob, and I will continue to keep him memory alive the rest of my life. As his mother, that is my job.